“Grandchildren are the crown of the aged.” Proverbs 17:6
In a culture that equates success with independence and a visibly empowered self, the value and importance of the family unit has become increasingly undermined.
From encouraging the estrangement of family members to lauding the ability to “choose your own family,” we are continually inundated with messaging that bolsters the self and undermines the strength, bond and stability of traditional nuclear families.
Of course, this is not part of God’s design. As the author of creation, God instituted the family as part of the orderly universe He so meticulously designed. Indeed, He established a framework for the family when he created Adam and Eve and commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28).
As one commentator aptly points out:
“[God] didn’t just create humans and set us free on earth as unattached, independent beings, but he also created a foundational human relationship that bound us together. The basic relationship or social structure for humanity is family.”
Within this structure is a specific purpose and God-ordained role for every member of the family – including grandparents. Indeed, grandparents have an oft overlooked but vital role to play not only in the family unit, but in the flourishing of a healthy society.
The God-Ordained Role of Grandparents
We learn from scripture that being a grandparent is a great blessing. Psalm 128:6 says, “May you see your children’s children…” and Proverbs 17:6 states, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged.”
As Josh Mulvihill, author of the books Grandparenting and Biblical Grandparenting, notes: “Interestingly, it is not wealth, health, career accomplishments, or social status that the Bible says are the crown of your life. That honor goes to grandchildren.”
From a biblical perspective, however, being a grandparent involves more than simply enjoying the blessing of grandchildren. It also requires fulfilling a God-ordained responsibility to pass on the faith.
Indeed, contrary to cultural messaging that devalues the elderly and views retirement as a time to sit back and relax, God calls on grandparents to play an active role in the transmission of faith to the next generation. Deuteronomy 4:9 says:
“But take care and watch yourselves closely, so as neither to forget the things that your eyes have seen nor to let them slip from your mind all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children’s children—” (emphasis mine).
That God intended for a multigenerational approach to discipleship is seen throughout scripture. In Deuteronomy 6:1-2, Moses instructs the Israelites to observe the statues and ordinances of the Lord so that “you and your children and your children’s children may fear the Lord your God all the days of your life…” (emphasis mine).
We see an example of the fulfillment of this responsibility in Timothy’s grandmother Lois, whose influence on her grandson was significant enough to be mentioned by the apostle Paul. In his second letter to Timothy, Paul writes:
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you.” 2 Timothy 1:5
From grandparent to grandchild, such is the way that God intended. And as with all of God’s ordering and design, His creation of the family unit, the role of grandparents, and the commandment to pass on the faith is not just for our good, but for the good of every member of the family, and for society at large – something that scientific evidence continues to illuminate.
The Benefits of the Grandparent-Grandchild Relationship
It has long been assumed that grandparents play a significant role in the functioning and well-being of a society, sharing wisdom, shaping values, and providing social, emotional and economic support for families.
But recent research shows just how valuable grandparents are – lending credence to the importance of the God-designed grandparent-grandchild relationship. Indeed, studies show that grandparents can positively impact the physical, emotional, cognitive and social well-being of grandchildren.
For instance, studies have noted that the nurturing bond between grandparents and grandchildren can reduce risky behavior, including smoking and drug use among teenagers, and may improve nutritional outcomes and reduce the likelihood of childhood obesity.
Another study found that grandparents’ involvement can contribute to better mental health in grandchildren, decreasing the risk of anxiety and depression. Similarly, one study showed that with grandparents in their life, grandchildren had fewer emotional and behavioral problems and could better manage difficulties, from bullying to parents’ divorce.
Furthermore, recent research suggests that the lessons learned from grandparent-grandchild relationships in childhood – especially those related to spirituality and moral development – persist into early adulthood.
Interestingly, strong co-parenting relationships between parents and grandparents can also benefit children. According to one study, a harmonious relationship between parents and grandparents can enhance children’s social competency and ability to regulate their emotions. As this article explains:
“The researchers explain that grandparents, with their rich parenting experience, can provide support, role modeling, and encouragement when they collaborate in raising children, which could influence how competent mothers feel in their parenting role. And when mothers are feeling more confident, they can approach parenting with more positivity and persistence, which can boost their children’s social development.”
Grandchildren Are Good for Grandparents, Too
But, it’s not just the grandchildren who benefit from a bond with their grandparents. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the grandparenting-grandchild relationship also yields health benefits for the grandparents themselves, helping stave off depression, reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s, and improve cognitive functioning and mental sharpness – not to mention the joy, vitality and sense of purpose that it fosters.
So powerful is the relationship that one study suggests grandparenting can even boost longevity, noting that grandparents who babysat grandkids regularly had a 37 percent lower mortality risk than adults who didn’t.
All of these findings are hardly surprising given the order and design that God intended for the family unit. But, with the dissolution of familial bonds, the primacy of the modern self, and a lack of respect for the elderly pervading our culture today, the role of grandparents has become increasingly squelched.
We would do well as a people and society to return to the family order and structure that God instituted from the beginning of time. We all have a role to play in the family unit – no less significant or important than the other.
May grandparents recognize the duty they have in leaving a legacy of faith, may parents encourage them to fulfill it, and may we all reap the benefits as a result.